This just in … BP will be setting aside $20 BILLION to help victims of the oil spill recover their losses.  {see story here}   This is the perfect opportunity for a fine and upstanding citizen … like myself .. to cash in on the latest Government Bailout Con Handout Cash-a-Palooza opportunity.  Technically, I do live in the State of Florida and I am victimized because I can’t find new business opportunities in the area along the coast because of the oil spill.  {Not that I was planning on starting up a business in Tampa .. BP doesn’t need to know that }

Idea #5 – FREE MONEY FROM BP!

Now I just need to find out how to make a claim   I could be oodles of dollars richer in the very far future!

Right … coming up with these brilliant ideas on a daily basis may be more difficult than I first imagined.  I do have to go to work every now and then, after all.  I mean … that’s the one way to insure I have some sort of real income coming in while I try to take over the world … errr .. save my house.   Please don’t expect daily postings .. I’ll catch up on those days I’m able to write.  How’s that sound?  Deal?  Ok … now that business is taken care of … here are ideas #3 and #4 for saving Willo’s House!

Idea #3 – Rent Out Extra Rooms

We’re not utilizing two of the guest rooms right now.  They’re just sitting there empty waiting for someone to come and use them.  Furnished, each with their own private bathroom.  I bet I could charge $500 a month for each room – that would include full use of the main rooms in the house, power, phone and cable.  We’d have to set up some sort of time table though for laundry.  They’d have to buy their own food and cleaning supplies.  And one of  them has to be handy enough to fix things around the house – while the other one loves to putter outside in the garden.  One must be male .. to handle those spider and snake situations .. and to do the heavy lifting.  The other can be male or female.  They both must have an active social life that keeps them out of the house most nights … and they wouldn’t be allowed to bring strangers into the house.  {aka – no sleep overs!}.  I’d also have to charge a hefty deposit to ensure no damages are done to the antiques and such.  We’d have to put heavy duty locks on each bedroom door – for privacy and security sakes.  They wouldn’t be allowed to bring their own pets in .. but they’d have to love Winston and Soli as if they were their own.  They also have to be neat freaks and love to clean … willing to just jump right in and do it {so I don’t have to!}.  Ahhh .. dream tenants.  Now .. where would I find them?

Idea #4 – Get PAID to write {OMG – what a brilliant concept!}

Well this one is self explanatory, isn’t it?  Find a way to get paid to write.  I could write articles and stuff during my “free time” – and make a little extra pocket money.  I am after all a Paid Published author … $150 to be exact .. for an article I wrote a few years ago.   So it was published in a French Canadian Magazine and no one I know got to read it.  It was published!!!  And that’s what counts.  If I can write one article and be paid for it .. why not more?   So first step … I should complete my course in Children’s Literature Writing.  It’s all paid for … I have the books to complete the course … and I have some spare time {since I refuse to clean most days}.  Why not?  I can write short stories and articles to publish in children’s and parenting magazines.  I could combine my certification in Nutrition and Weight Loss and write articles on healthy living {no one needs to know I’m a curvy girl in real life!}  WOW!  I think this is my first really feasible idea!  Now … to go dig out my course books and find the phone number to call to reinstate my student status!

This next idea may seem a bit unconventional …  it involves allowing another person into my life.  As a self proclaimed hermit it would be a personal sacrafice for me to do something like this.  But I’m willing to make small sacrifices in order to save my house and give my son a sense of security and belonging.

Idea #2 – Find a Sugar Daddy

It worked for Anna Nicole Smith …. sort of … it could work for me!  I’ll just not get involved with the drugs and alcohol abuse.    Of course, this would mean actually leaving the house every now and then and frequenting the social gathering places of older gentleman.  I was thinking places like … Country Clubs and Boat dealerships.  Perhaps an Art Gallery or Museum.  Definitely the Saturday Matinee at the Broadway series.  The early bird special at area restaurants.

The benefits of this sort of arrangement would be the opportunity to travel.   The constant companionship of an attentive man.  The money to pay off your mortgage.  The cons would be having to spend time with an older guy   … and acting like a bubble headed ditz.

Hmmmm …

Oh who am I kidding!!  I’m much to ethical and nice to pull a con like this!  Besides … as a hermit it would be very difficult for me to stray too far away from home.  I’m going to have to come up with another idea …. stay tuned!

I’ve been reading online a great many ways homeowners have been attempting to sell their houses.  AND .. I’ve been reading some creative ways Charities have been attempting to raise funds for their various … ummm … charities.  And I thought … why not do something similar to try and save my house.   Over the next few months I’ll compile a list of brilliant ideas … and probably a great many not so brilliant hilarious ideas … that will keep me from having to sell my house in the upcoming year.  Today I offer up brilliant idea #1.

#1 – Raise Money via the Internets - hold a raffle!

That’s right .. you heard me.  Why should I have to pay my own Mortgage?  Especially when half the homeowners in the country have fled their own dream homes and left them rotting in foreclosure.  As a responsible citizen … I’ve paid my taxes …. I’m current on on my bills.  My credit score is over 800 for goodness sakes!  Shouldn’t I be rewarded somehow for being such a fine and upstanding citizen?  I say YES!!

So in the next week I’ll be setting up a PayPal Donation button right here at Willo’s Web.   And each of you can feel free to donate just one measly little dollar into the “Save Casa De Willo” fund.   I’ll even go one step further.   I’ll split the pot!  That’s right people … I’ll hold a raffle of all the people who donate one measly tiny little dollar bill on December 31, 2010.  We’ll split the pot … half the money goes to me … half the money goes to the raffle winner.  Now … my outstanding mortgage balance is $250,000 – so that would mean you could win up to a QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS … all for your pitiful wee donation of $1.

Surely there’s over half a million Internets users … and wouldn’t they all be just silly to pass up on an opportunity to win a QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS !!!

Of course …. I’ll have to check all the legalities with the State of Florida to see if I can do such a thing.  I don’t want anyone to get in trouble with the Tax Man … or myself.  I’d love to be able to just write you a check for the full raffle prize .. but you know good old Uncle Sam will want his piece of the pie too.  Maybe we should shoot for raising ONE MILLION DOLLARS … then there would be enough to pay off my mortgage, pay you the prize, and to bribe … errr .. I mean pay Uncle Sam his taxes.

RAINBOW CONNECTION
Kermit the Frog

Why are there so many
Songs about rainbows
And what’s on the other side

Rainbow’s are visions
But only illusions
And rainbows have nothing to hide

So we’ve been told and some chose to
Believe it
But I know they’re wrong wait and see

Someday we’ll find it
The Rainbow Connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me

Who said that every wish
Would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star

Somebody thought of that
And someone believed it
Look what it’s done so far

What’s so amazing
That keeps us star gazing
And what do we think we might see

Someday we’ll find it
That Rainbow Connection
The lovers the dreamers and me
All of us under its spell
we know its probably magic

Have you been half asleep
And have you heard voices
I’ve heard them calling my name

Is this the sweet sounds that called
The young sailors
The voice might be one and the same
I’ve heard it too many times to ignore it
It’s something that I’m supposed to be

Someday we’ll find it
The Rainbow Connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me
La dada dee da da doo …