I woke up this morning a little apprehensively.  It’s one of my last days of “freedom” – before I return to the work force in society.  I got myself a little Part-time job over at the local Lane Bryant store.  Yep – what a cliche – the fat chic working at a fat chic clothing store.  GO ahead .. laugh at me all you want right now.  I actually happen to LOVE working retail and have often questioned my decision to pass on an Assistant Manager job all those years ago to complete my college degree.  You can see where that little piece of paper got me – unemployed!

And it’s funny … when my size didn’t matter … I was offered the job immediately.  Which lends itself to my whole theory that my weight was holding me back from landing another job in marketing.  Whatever.  You have no idea how great it felt to walk out of an interview FINALLY with the last words on the mangers lips “You’ll start on Sunday – if you want the job.”    I was seen as a valuable assesst  – someone who could contribute a great deal.  I was seen as a person.

Yet I have mixed feelings about work.  Not the job itself .. but work in general.  I know that it’s important for me to take these first steps back in to mainstream Americana.  Get myself involved with other people … actually hold real life conversations with others.  But I’m not sure 100% I’m ready for this.  I still want to pursue Life Coaching – because ultimately that will give me a higher earning potential than any other job I’ve ever held.  But for now I’ll settle for 15 hours a week at a little $7 an hour part time job so that I can remember how much fun working can be.  In a positive environment with people who care about ME and my work ethic.

My biggest concern I have to say is if my knee will hold up to standing for long periods of time.  I’ll take Advil in advance of my 4.5 hour shift this Sunday – to stave off any pain.  And we’ll just hope the knee holds out long enough to get the job done.  We’ll take it one day at a time.

So what should I do on one of my last days of Freedom?  Mom and Dad are going out to do a little bit of shopping.  I’m going to stay behind and bake Honey Wheat Bread.    And I’m going to do a small amount of cleaning – mostly just running the vacuum to take care of the cat hair situation.  Then .. I don’t know!  Catch up on recorded TV shows maybe?  A short afternoon nap?  I really don’t know.  Tomorrow I think we’re going to go see Angel’s & Demons.  But today … I think I’m just going to chill one last time.  Might be my last day in awhile to do that .. because on those days I’m not working I’ll have to cram in homework and housework and errands and chores.

Getting a job is a good thing.  I know so many OTHERS will be happy for me.  I guess I’m just not sure if I’m happy yet or not.  I guess time will tell.