I’m probably going to get a lot of flack for what I’m about to write here.   But please note that what I’m trying to say is from an educational/research perspective and is totally nothing personal.   To the men in my life – and virtual friends – I mean no harm … really.

I’ve been talking with others via the internet since 1993ish?  The very first chat rooms and message forums were born way back when.    I even met my husband Jim in an AOL Orlando chat room – on April Fool’s Day none the less.  So I’ve been able to observe the behavior of virtual friends for a very long time.  Now it just so happens the majority of people I chat with – until I joined the BLL – have been of the male variety.  I’ve always gotten along better with men – perhaps because two of my best friends when I was little were Joe and his buddy Stuart.    I was always more a tomboy I guess.

I just take for granted when dealing with chat rooms and message forums that we as people are on there to have conversations.  But the more I visit particular web sites … or even FaceBook and Twitter … the more I see men hold a preconceived notion that women who chat online are only after one thing.  A husband.

I hate to burst your bubble – I really do.  But when I converse with you online – it’s not because I think you’re the latest eligible bachelor.  I’ve said many times that I still feel married to Jim – and that’s not going to change any time soon.  He will own my heart forever .. sorry!  When I converse with you – it’s because I actually thought we could have an intelligent discussion about whatever topic is listed in the forum.  Silly me!

I asked a Weatherman the other day “Have you ever chased a tornado.”  And his response was something along the lines of him being a happily married man and that his tornado chasing days were over.   WHAT?! I was told by another on the forum that Weather men are often frightened away by “Aggressive Women.”  WHAT?!

Reading another friends Facebook page {let’s call him Bob}- one of his buddies posted a comment that I found quiet odd.    “All you Bob stalkers – come join us at this event.”   Well I had noticed that Bob was in contact with many women … but really … to call them stalkers was a bit too much!  Perhaps the friend and Bob were sharing an inside joke.

I’m almost 41 years old … some would say with age comes confidence.  If that confidence in myself is seen as agressive beahvior by men – well – something is wrong here.    Is it not possible for a man and a woman to hold an intelligent conversation without the man thinking she’s hunting for a husband?  Tell me the myth that men and women can’t be friends isn’t true!   Perhaps I do enjoy flirting a little .. there’s no harm there.   But for the most part guys – if I choose to converse with you online – it’s because I found you interesting enough to learn more about WHO you are – not because you’re the next flavor of the month.  I’ll keep those fantasies for the handsome men of rock-n-roll and Hollyweird!